Aspie employability

I've read that only 20% of Aspergers are employed, and as I'm now one of the 80% that worries me.

This raises many questions, not all of which can probably be answered by me, but I'll have a go from my own point of view.

Are Aspies employable?  (generally speaking)
I would say I'm employable based on my technical ability, but it would only work in an Aspie-friendly workplace where I can get away with being quiet/distant.  I've been bullied in every job I've had, from day 1 pretty much - I just stand out as abnormal without even trying, as I usually try very hard to look normal to avoid bad first impressions.  I guess people easily see through the mask.
I guess most employers will say Aspies are not employable, as too much allowance has to be made for them - and they may never 'fit in'.

Are 80% of Aspies work-shy, or just plain unemployable?
I can't say, obviously - but I know from my own experience that its hard to contemplate work when you know from experience that most colleagues take exception to you in one way or another, and some outright bully you (usually with the others siding with the bully).  Its actually quite scary in some situations, because you never know how far some people will go - sometimes your life feels at risk!  How can you work, and enjoy it, with that kind of crap going on?  Obviously some Aspies will just struggle with the whole idea of getting to work in the first place.

Do the 20% feel safe, and valued at work?
When I was working I never felt that safe, anxious usually - not that I was always at risk physically, just aware of mental bullying that I couldn't do anything about.  I've felt valued at times, but that quickly evaporates when you are undermined or ridiculed.  It was hard for me to be confident about myself, or my abilities.

How long, on average, do the 20% work for?
My first two jobs lasted 7 years, and 6 years, respectively - don't ask me how, every day was painful, including bullying and embarrassment!  After that I had a long period of not working, then found a job delivering leaflets which I coped with for 3 months until a recurring injury forced me to stop - there was some bullying involved, including pressure to deliver more than was feasible in one day.  I then tried a data admin job and only last 5 days, I was bullied/ribbed from day 1 and struggled to communicate.  I then tried sorting mail, but that lasted two days as I was bullied/ribbed because I didn't speak much.  Its very hard for me to imagine working long-term at any company, it would need a sympathic bunch of colleagues which I've yet to encounter.

Should we force employers to take on Aspies?
No, thats not fair on the employer or the Aspie.  The employer needs to be aware of the Aspies difficulties, and able to work with them to minimise difficulties and bullying.  Helping employers to be Aspie aware is a good thing, but it won't guarantee long-term success for either party.

What jobs are the 20% doing?  And could the other 80% do the same jobs, if given the task?
I would be very interested in knowing what kind of jobs the 20% are doing, as there may be job types I haven't considered, and may be better suited to than jobs I've done or thought about before.  Maybe they are doing jobs that involve things they love?   Maybe the 80% haven't got talents/interests that are  useful to employers, or do but aren't confident about them.

Can the 20% who do work give any advice to the 80%'ers?
It would be good if there was some kind of mentoring from successful working Aspies, even if it was just via online forums.  I've not found much online support for Aspies, especially work related, and any local support group is some distance away which makes it difficult for me to attend.  It would be good if there was an online support group where working Aspies could help non-workers with tips and advice on job types, application and interview issues, coping with colleagues, etc.  I would love to set something up if there isn't already such a site.

I guess my final question is are the 80%'ers 'written off' by most employers for life?  Not that that is a bad thing necessarily, Aspies shouldn't feel they need to work to feel part of society - any more than any other disability group.  This is the danger of government policy of trying to integrate autistic people with NT's - it assumes all/most autistic people can actually be integrated, and that it is a painless process.

I think more work needs to be done to identify why some Aspies can successfully work, whilst most can't or struggle to do so.  It may just come down to motivation, confidence, self-esteem, and mental toughness.

37% of Incapacity Benefit claimants fail ESA test

I was dismayed, but not surprised, to read that 37% of those on Incapacity Benefit have been assessed as 'fit for work'.  Obviously the whole point of the exercise was to be much tougher on claimants, so its no surprise such a high number have failed the test.  For some reason the government claims this confirms their belief in the idea - its a bit like bringing in a policy to halve the prison population to save costs, then shoot half of all prisoners and claim their actions have been proved justified because it saves a fortune and the crime-rate drops!.  The government needs to come up with a more intelligent analysis of its policy outcome than that - what was the breakdown per condition?  how long on average have these people claimed, and how much? how many have appealed, and won?  how many are now claiming JSA?  How many have found employment?  How many have been, or will be, taken to court for benefit fraud?  Some/all of these figures may be available somewhere (you would like to think), but if so, why weren't they published to the media at the same time - surely the figures should back-up their claim of success, that 37% of claimants were actually work-shy?  52000 people may not sound many, but if that was 52000 cancer suffers society would be up in arms - if it was 52000 anxiety suffers, or Aspies, would society care? No.  This is jus the first batch of IB claimants though, so the numbers will become less easy for the government to dismiss.

I'm all for weeding out those who claim fraudulently, or those who could work if given assistance - it really annoys me that people try and scam the system, leading to things being much tougher to claim for genuine people (or the value of payments is reduced).  My problem is I can't believe 37% of those claimants are suddenly 'fit for work', since people on IB will have been regularly tested before anyway - I used to be on IB and the tests were quite tough then!  Also, are we saying doctors and other medical professionals aren't doing their job properly and handing out sick-notes too easily?  If thats the case, why aren't they being targetted?  If you are trying to create a system that assess fitness to work, then surely that has to include GP's and other professionals - otherwise there's a conflict of interest.  The government may be heading in that direction, rightly or wrongly, but it doesn't happen right now.  However, if it does happens then its too easy to fail genuinely work-incapable people simply because their conditions are mild/borderline, yet cause real and sustained problems at work (reduced productivity, increased sick leave, bullying, etc.).

What does 'fit for work' actually mean?  Its very easy to say someone is fit to work, if you bias the test so that the questions identify reasons for working, rather than taking into account facts that prevent working.  Take Aspergers for example, I assume most would fail the test because they could do a job of some description - but that doesn't mean an employer would accommodate them, and most may not make it past interview anyway.  Being deemed 'fit to work' does not mean anyone will suddenly become employed - there obviously needs to be suitable vacancies, and employers that will actively consider people with recent/current problems.  The government does not care about those that fall into the gap between welfare and employment - which has been true for several previous governments also.  People are just numbers to governments, and what happens to people kicked off benefits is probably not even measured - if some commit suicide or become homeless then they just cross-over into a different set of statistics, which the government will gloss-over or ignore.

The whole point of Incapacity Benefit was to be a safety net to those who were not fit to work, especially those with long-term problems.  Now, we have ESA which is only short-term and only there for those that are either classified as 'unable to do any job', or 'could work if kicked up the arse'.  The danger is some people on IB who really aren't suited to work will be robbed of supported or independent living, leading to homelessness, suicide, or being forced to live with abusive or unsupportive parents/relatives.

Clearly this in exercise in saving money, it has nothing to do with helping people back to work.  Do the government think that employers are going to snap-up people who have been out-of-work for some time?  When looking through dozens of fit and healthy applicants will they really consider someone disabled or who has not worked recently due to ill health - since most jobs require a CV these days its very hard to hide periods of illness.  However, a large number of those 37% of IB claimants will now probably be trying to claim JSA instead, and most may not even be able to pursuade employers they are fit to work - so has the government actually achieved anything?  Of course, some of those won't be able to claim JSA due to lack of national insurance credits, or because their partner works more than 25hrs.

If the government really wanted to help sick and disabled people back to work, they need to start tackling unsupportive/descriminative employers who don't make it easy for employees with problems, or dismiss applicants that have (or have had) problems in favour of those who are 'fully fit'.  Can we really expect employers to take on someone thats not really fit, in favour of someone who is?  Whilst Access To Work may help some employers take on disabled people  (and we are talking very low numbers at best), its not going to help everyone who's not been able to work.  Shutting down Remploy factories proves the government doesn't care about, or understand, the problems that disabled people face - it just assumes these people will slot back into society and be accepted.  The government is actively descriminating against the sick/disabled in terms of benefits and support, whilst at the same time trying to encourage businesses to be less descriminating! 

I'm afraid the government has been listening too those in society (including itself) who look down on the ill/disabled as if they are a burden to the state, and a waste of their taxes.  These very same people will of course suddenly have a very different opinion if they, or a child/relative, suddenly become ill/disabled.  All the government is doing is pretending to look like they are solving a problem, when in fact they are just shifting the problem elsewhere.  Also, we have a legal system that is based around 'innocent until proven guilty' - yet the benefit system is becoming the exact opposite, where the government assumes you can work unless you can prove you can't!  Surely this means kicking sick/disabled people of welfare is illegal!  Its certainly immoral, in any society.

Don't get me wrong, I would love all sick and disabled people to be helped back into work and live happily every after - but at a time of high unemployment, where even perfectly fit people can't get a job easily, and where descrimination is still a problem, its just totally unrealistic.  Will we find out what happens to the 37%?  No!  Not via the government anyway.  But we should!

At a time when rich people and large companies are avoiding tax, and living comfortably as a result, its absolutely outrageous that the sick and disabled are seen as a problem in society - this just further increases descrimination against sickness and disability.

Ok, ok, rant over!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17379564

Meditation

I've been trying meditation again, to try and keep my brain calm.  In the past this hasn't really worked as I can't keep my mind quiet long enough, but my girlfriend got me a book called 'The 5-minute meditator' by Eric Harrison.  I haven't read it all yet, but I've tried one or two meditation techniques and found that I can best halt my thoughts by focusing on my senses whilst outdoors, walking or sitting -feeling the breeze/sun, or listening to birds, or looking at trees etc really helps calm me.  Its much easier to quieten my mind this way, than the usual deep breathing excercises I've been told to practice in the past.  Eric explains why - its kind of obviously really, but deep breathing provides an energy boost, and if we relaxing then it is not being used and so we feel more alert.  If you walk whilst deep breathing then you can burn off the extra energy and therefore can meditate easier than sitting still.  I really recommend this book if your mind races, or you get stuck in thought-loops.  I feel good being more aware of my senses, and looking forward to trying this technique somewhere really peaceful - where there are less distractions to interrupt my meditation.

I also recommend hypnotherapy, as I tried this several years ago and it really cleared my head and I felt I could take on anything.  It did fade after few days, but it gave me a glimpse of what being really relaxed is like - I crave to return to that calm, more positive state as would feel more capable of being around people, and working.

Intro

Hi, I'm Tim (39), welcome to my blog.  I have recently found out I probably have Aspergers Syndrome, which is on the Autism Spectrum - although at this time I am not diagnosed.  I have always struggled with people and social situations, and increasingly became more withdrawn and isolated but did not understand why I was not like other people.  Fortunately, I met my girlfriend online and she has similar problems and may also be an Aspie (but also not yet diagnosed).  My problems are many and varied, but the following sums them up - other Aspies will probably relate to some/all of these.

• Poor verbal communication, both speaking and understanding people correctly.  I'm naturally softly spoken (unless I force loudness consciously) so people either don't hear me properly, or don't hear me at all - this can lead to me repeating myself, and I don't always think to speak louder to make myself clear.  I struggle to talk to people properly, I don't have endless things to talk about like most people - apart from my 'special interests' which I can bore people to death with.  I really find it hard to initiate conversations, and tend to blank people most of the time - which is very isolating at work/socially.

•  My written communication is better, which is why I can write this blog without too much difficulty - however, I constantly edit/rethink what I'm writing so it takes me a long time, and sometimes I give up as I don't feel its good enough for others to read.  I much prefer to text or email people than call them, as I can take the time to make sure I say all I need to say.  As a child my writing was a mess and I struggled with spellings and grammar - until I went to college and tried harder, although I did write completely in capitals to make things easier and faster (don't know why but it did help).  I've since reverted to normal case, although I do slip back into the old habit know and then.  To make matters worse I'm also left-handed (for writing, though ambidextrous for most things) which has always caused problems - at primary school the headmaster said left-handing writing doesn't exist, so I was forced to write right-handed for a while.
•  Poor/intermittent memory.  I say poor, but I actually have an amazing sponge-like memory that soaks up all kinds of facts, figures, trivia - which sounds useful but theres a catch - I sometimes have problem recalling things from memory, and I can even forget mid-sentance what I was going to say.  My recall is also eratic - sometimes I can remember things instantly, whereas other times it takes a while or never comes, sometimes I panic and guess what I was trying to remember and that can be embarrassing.
• Difficulties learning things.  I find I only really learn things properly if I take my time and go over things several times until it makes sense - which I couldn't really do at school.  Sometimes I am able to quickly pick things up by myself, but if I'm shown what to do I can't really focus or grasp it straight away - meaning I either have to ask them to show me again, or I have a go and make myself look stupid by guessing.  I've actually taught myself various programming languages but I don't know enough about any of them to be competent, and I struggle with adding remarks to explain my code - I find it hard to summarise code into plain English, as it makes more sense to me in code form!
• Logical and literal thinking.  I struggle with all things illogical (like most people) which is why my 'special interest' has always been computers - they are inherently logical, even if sometimes appearing illogical (crashes, lock-ups), so I know where I am with them.  People on the other hand are inherently illogical, its not easy to predict what anyone will say or do - so get anxious around people I haven't 'worked out'.  I include myself in that, though I'm probably quite predictable and dull to 'normals'.  I struggle with sarcasm (even though I've learnt to be sarcastic myself) and never quite know if it was meant as a joke or not - which makes me really anxious.  I also get anxious when I don't understand someone straight away, it can take me a long time (minutes, hours, day, weeks, even months!) to process what they said and make sense of it. I kind of investigate all possible meanings and interpretations and try and find the best fit - though I usually jump to the wrong conclusion based on low self-esteem, or fear. 
• Meltdowns and shutdowns.  I've only just learnt about these, and realised my life has been littered with them.  I've mostly experienced shutdowns, where I just hide away from the world until I have processed everything and either made sense of things - or given up trying to.  However, I've had a few meltdowns where I 'explode' and drag up everything thats not made sense and throw it all into the mix - even if not relevant or helpful.
• Perfectionism.  I tend to do things only if I can do them 'perfectly' - I know I judge myself too harshly at times, but I know most people are judgemental.  I also feel I make too many mistakes and can come across as incompetent, so I try to cover things up in an attempt to appear perfect.  I've tried taking up art, but I struggle to paint as perfectly as the images in my head - or fail to put down my ideas as perfectly as I would like.  Its just too painful for me to be expressive, in whatever form - and it makes me anxious when others see my work.  I also get frustrated by imperfections in things I expect to be reasonably perfect (don't get me started on WiFi)
• Zoning-out.  I tend to zone-out (hyper-focus) a lot to get things done, especially on a computer.  By zoning out I mean tend to focus so hard that I pretty much blank out the rest of the world - and people comment on my blank expression, or long stares.  I don't conciously make an effort to zone-out, it just happens after a while.  I can usually ignore most things whilst zoning-out including the urge to go to the loo, and can starve/dehydrate if I'm not careful.  If I can't zone-out then its hard for me to do anything constructive. 
• Special interests.  My main special interest has been computers, since the age of 11 when I was given a ZX-81.  I've always been fascinated by how they work, and when I left college I even built my own (sad I know).  I like to have a good understanding of each part of a computer, and keep myself up to date with new technologies.  I upgrade my own PC when I can to keep it fairly responsive and able to cope with the things I want to do on it.  My current PC is basically so upgraded that its essentially self-built, theres nothing left of the original PC I started with.  I also have a good understanding of networking, and have set up a wired + wireless network at home - and also learnt how to set up a windows server, with a view to building a home-server for backups and running a website from.  You might be able to guess that I get too obsessed and waste a great deal of time on inconsequential things - thats how I feel anyway.
• Stubborn, and unable to cope with change.  I like familiarity, sameness - changes make me anxious, unless I'm ready for change.  I do need a routine to follow otherwise I get anxious, and without a  routine I will just spend all day on my computer - which I know is not good.  Recently we got a dog (called Skip) and that forces me to go out and I now have a routine forced on me every day - I have to get up early each day, and have to go out even if I don't feel like it.  I've struggled with spontaneity, I can't easily think on my feet - I prefer to plan, or at least think through my options.  Interruptions, like the phone ringing, can really bug me - and I find it hard to return to what I was doing.
   
• Poor eye-contact.  I struggle with eye-contact, I feel awkward and so my eyes dart away quickly.  I also feel some people stare at me, like there's something visibly wrong with me.  I tend to struggle to maintain eye-contact when talking, I can't really focus on doing both at the same time.
• Hypersensivity.  I definitely have sensitive hearing, loud noises can make me anxious, and background noise can distract me.  I saw my psychiatrist the other day and I was distracted by the noise her computer was making, the hard-drive was chattering away and I missed some of what she said.  I'm also sensitive to touch, though less now than I used to be - intimate touching used to make me feel anxious, and sick, but it has faded over time and I can now enjoy it.  I'm still a bit freaked when strangers brush against me, or put there hand on me for some reason.  I am also sensitive to certain fabrics and prefer cotton where possible - polyester irritates me, even if just a small amount.  I can't really do anything useful while I'm feeling bugged by something, its just so distracting - I even find it hard to sleep whilst birds are singing, such as the dawn chorus, as it feels intense.  Shouting also really gets to me.  I kind of need silence to feel good/calm, and crave quiet places in the countryside where I can get away from noise.


• Injustice also bugs me - I find it hard to cope when there is injustice in my life, or others.  It hurts me that some people are wealthy to the point of being rediculous, and yet at the same time some are incredibly poor.  I could vent my spleen all day about banks, governments, businesses - but I won't, well, not on this post anyway!
   
• Procrastination - I've always put things off, though not always conciously - most of the time I don't even realise I'm doing it.  Sometimes I know I put things off because I don't feel up to it, some tasks take a lot of preparing for before I can attempt them - like seeing the doctor, or shopping.  I feel incredibly lazy, but its not that I can't be bothered - its usually that I can't get my brain into the right state to do something.  Its ironic that I like things to be neat and organised, yet most of the time I let things get untidy and disorganised - and then all of a sudden can't bear it any more and have to tidy/organise.  Its like my brain gets stuck in loop, it knows I have tasks to do but doesn't kick start me into doing them - I have to drag myself into them against the flow.

I will probably add to this list as I think of things, but thats a good start.